By Lois Joy Johnson, AARP June 2024
Innovative beauty products, expanded clothing options and science-based skin care have turned back the clock for many.
Whether your mom believed in aging gracefully — with gray hair, wrinkles and a few menopause-related pounds — or tackled each birthday with a splurge on face cream, a new dress and a day at the hair salon, she did the best she could at the time. But now that many of us are older, we are defying stereotypes about what aging looks like with updated solutions and attitudes. You can thank science, technology and constant exposure to the fast-paced cycle of trends and social media for that. No, we won’t age like our moms, but we will continue to proudly strut our stuff in sunscreen, jeans and a “you go, girl” grin. It’s because we are …
1. Smarter about Skin Care
Unlike Mom, we don’t bake in the sun, smoke or get too friendly with alcohol — all skin wreckers that eventually show up on our face. Mom saw a dermatologist rarely and only when there was a problem; we see one preventively at least once a year for a total head-to-toe skin check.
She used suntan lotion with no or low SPF to get a tan, and just at the beach or pool in the summer; we use sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher daily — rain or shine — to bypass the UVA aging and UVB burning rays that cause wrinkles, brown spots and skin cancer. Mom was aware of the value of moisturizing, but we know that skin-care ingredients matter more than a pretty jar or fragranced cream. We look at labels for peptides, ceramides, retinol and antioxidants to smooth lines, brighten discoloration and erase past sun damage.
Mom used to gaze in the mirror, pull back the skin on her face and joke about a facelift. Fantasies aside, she didn’t have access to all the dermatological solutions we do, like Botox, fillers and lasers, which can effectively solve issues like angry facial lines, saggy cheeks and discoloration without a scalpel.
If you want to up your skin-care game, try these bargain beauty buys, the hottest new skin-care serums and solutions, and the latest in facial peels.
2. Taking better care of our hair
Whether Mom was a salon regular or the DIY type, her hairstyle and color mattered, not hair health. Hair spray and a roller set were her antidote to everything, from limp locks to wind and humidity. And when it came to style, hitting age 50 often meant a requisite short cut, sprayed in place to last from dawn to dusk. We, on the other hand, demand thicker (or at least sassier) hair that gleams, swings, tousles and looks great freshly styled or straight out of bed. We want hair with sex appeal, and for many mature women that now means longer hair, either real or extensions. And roots? We don’t mind darker roots — in fact, they’re trendy — though a brush-on or spray touch-up is easy to do in minutes.
Let’s not forget: Mom’s faux color was usually one solid, wiglike hue that was so light it washed her out, or so dark it emphasized shadows and wrinkles. We get that multitone highlights not only make hair appear thicker and help grays blend in but also have a cosmetic brightening effect on aging skin. Mom used shampoo and conditioner, of course, but now those basics have ingredients that repair, stimulate strength or growth, and offer protection from heat styling.
3. Owning our size and shape
Mom relied on a drawerful of girdles and structured bras, a morning weigh-in on the bathroom scale and an endless stream of fad diets. We know that a body-positive attitude, consistent exercise and a healthy, balanced diet are a better combination for self-esteem, regardless of size and shape.
When Mom gained weight, she often had a tough time finding clothes in her size that reflected her love of current fashion. We now have inclusive size ranges and a glamorized plus-size category that follows every trend in every season. We’ve learned that the right underwear (not necessarily the prettiest underwear) can make our clothes and our bodies work better together. Smooth, seamless bras and high-leg briefs make even knits and lightweight fabrics ease over curves, and a little confidence-boosting stretch in everything from pants to dresses to our favorite untucked tops makes getting dressed a snap, not a struggle. Lucky us.
4. Wearing comfy clothes day and night
What we wear now affects everything from our body language to posture and comfort. While Mom’s wardrobe, like ours, reflected her personal taste and wallet, it often added years to her looks. Stiff, structured clothes that lacked stretch or the softness of blended fabrics, waistbands that pinched in all the wrong places and a real difference between work and leisure clothes made getting dressed a challenge.
Long hours in high-heel pumps made her achy feet, corns and bunions seem normal, and sheer pantyhose added to the anxiety with frequent runs. Thanks to a laundry list of changes, there’s no turning back. Mom didn’t have the advantages of our dress-down lifestyle, the stylish way we layer and mix casual and dressy, sporty and tailored, to stay comfortable and fashionable 24/7. We wear black leggings instead of pesky pantyhose; opt for flats, wedges and sneakers instead of killer heels; wear joggers with blazers and jeans with feminine blouses, defying the seasons and categories. And to top it off, we shop online, from H&M to Walmart, Gap to Talbots, Amazon to Nordstrom, triumphantly ignoring any hint of age-appropriate boun
5. Wearing feel-good/look-better makeup
Mom’s makeup depended on a “more is more, please stay put” philosophy. It looked better after dark than in the bright light of day. Her mascara clumped, lipstick smeared and eye shadow flaked; her concealer was obvious; and powder was essential to hold it all in place.
We’re more fortunate to have makeup that enhances our looks without a painted lady effect and lets us control the results. Radiance-enhancing foundations and tinted moisturizers, each in dozens of authentic shades, add a glow to mature skin while blurring pigmentation issues. We have makeup brushes, sponges and primers to make application a breeze. Our lightweight, creamy blushes and bronzers require minimal blending and produce a healthy look in seconds. We have neutral colors for the eyes and lips that define aging features and seem natural even in a smoldering smokey eye or on a full-glamour face.
The only rule is there are no rules. Mom was brand loyal and relied on big-name companies and routines she trusted, often resisting a switch even when the possibility of improvement lurked. Women age 50 and older have more flexibility now and are game for change. We may have loved skinny jeans, wire-rimmed glasses and full-coverage matte makeup but had no problem moving on to wider-leg denim, bold frames and hydrating sheer formulas after we saw how flattering they were. This ability to adapt, transform and keep moving forward continues to be our demographic’s superpower. It’s why we’re still interested in trends and social media even when we don’t follow every new option.
It’s also why we make courageous choices, like Marisa Tomei, at age 59, pairing a black minidress with sheer black pantyhose; Christie Brinkley, 70, in a bright red curve-hugging gown; and Oprah Winfrey, 70, in a sparkly knee-length dress and sporting a playful long ponytail down to there.
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